Welthy Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Still praying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Continued prayers. Love, Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Love and prayers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowergirlie Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Grace, My thoughts are with you! I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. Flowergirlie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Thinking of you and Carlton today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Dear Grace.. Please know you are in my every prayer on this day. Keep talking to Carlton and tell him how much you love him.... he can hear you.... I am so sorry this is happening. Love, Sharon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted February 15, 2007 Author Share Posted February 15, 2007 I'm here...thank you for all of your concerns, Carlton is stable, by that meaning that he is considered in a "semi-comatose" state, his vitals are stable and they seems to have gotten his seizures under control. But i'm totally a wreck, today here outside is just a mess and I couldn't go up to the hospital to see him, so last night I bought him up a get well card from my oldest daughters' class and a silk red rose and a valentines' day card from me. It was so difficult to pick one out, everything I read one, it was too much, a women beside me in the store was trying to pick one out for her husband and turned to me and said, it's so difficult, if she only knew.... People tell me I am strong, but i'm not, I'm just numb, I break down so very often, I'm so heartbroken, and can't sleep, eating junk and just forgetting everything... I was lying in bed last night thinking about when I would come here and read when others were going through your/their losses, my heart would always go out and I would say, sorry and send prayers, but now it is happening to me and I now "get it"..and Carlton is still here..but I know when he passes ( and the drs. don't think it will be very long - his onc. said perhaps 2 weeks at the most. - but no one really knows) I will go through this hideous grief, the longing for my love, my life, the only man I ever wanted. but tonite, he "sleeps" in ICU, still waiting for a bed in a private room. and Yes, I made the decision, that I wanted him at the hospital till the end, no "nursing home" and for him to come home now, it's not an option. I guess this is just the way it was meant to be, but it's happening so fast.. but at least for now he isn't in pain, I will be up to see him tomorrow, I'll talk, give him kisses, help wet his lips, watch some tv, read to him, remenis about everything and anything. While I sit and hold his hand...I'm still looking for a sign...I still don't know if it will happen... once again, you all mean so much to me....I know it may be anytime of day or nite when it is too much, but you will all be here. much love Grace ps thats' a pic of Carlton - it was taken at Lake Champlain, Vermont this summer.....it was our last family vacation together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beat it Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, I thought of you and Carlton alot today, told the girls at work who where complaining of not getting flowers sent on Valentines day...........I'm greatful it wasnt today as you had said would be hard....... I wish I could bottle up the compasion, tears and thoughts for you and sent it your way to somehow increase your strengh..... You are on our minds so much, you are loved. Beat it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, One day at a time. That's all you can do. You are doing great. It must have been so hard on you not to be with Carlton today. I wish I could find the words or I could say something to make this easier. It sounds like you are doing everything that you can do. Just love him and let God. My prayers continue. Love, Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 I am sorry for what you are all going through. I am sure he knows you are there with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, I want to say and/or do something, anything to help ease your pain and your worry. I know there is nothing that can be said or done. I know that as so many of us here do. I continue to hold you and Carlton and your girls in my thoughts and prayers... Sending love and hugs to you all, Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 No words, just sending love and prayer your way. It is so unfair. My heart goes out to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Oh Grace, I am so, so sorry. I wish so much there was something I could say or do. Please know you have my prayers....God bless you. Jen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Was thinking or you all day. Snowed in here in New England along with you. Thank you for keeping us posted. You continue to be in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyma Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 I am so sorry to hear about what you, your children and your husband are now going through. Prayers are with you all. Heather Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mary colleen Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, you ARE strong. You are all that you need to be, and he is blessed to have you. Feel our prayers. Bless you and the girls.xo Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, Continued prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, Thinking of you this morning and sending prayers for you and Carlton and the girls. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, I've been thinking of you almost constantly since you first broke the devastating news to us. You are an incredibly strong woman and you are being everything you can be to Carlton when he needs you most. We are all here with you in spirit and will continue to be. Breaking down isn't weakness -- breaking down is human. We can hear your amazing strength loud and clear, whether you can or not. You, Carlton and your girls will continue to be in my prayers. Much love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, you are in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Thoughts and prayers continuing for you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 ((((((((((((((Grace))))))))))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pammie Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, you and Carlton and your family are in our prayers. pammie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted February 15, 2007 Author Share Posted February 15, 2007 I had a very upsetting afternoon today, Carlton was moved from ICU up to a Med/Surg floor, we waited 3 days for what I thought was going to be a private room, when we got there, not only was it not a private room, but incredibly small, couldn't fit a chair and there was another patient, what had a few visitors, who were laughing, talking. So I lost it, I pulled the curtain all around Carlton and sobbed uncontrollably. I rang for the nurse, when she got here, I told her that I was told Carlton was to be a private room, that that would be where he was going to die, and that it was unacceptable, for me to bring my young children, and any family members. I wanted somewhere quiet, were family and friends could visit and for him to die in peace. they told me they would try, I left, cried uncontrollably and called the social worker at the cancer ctr. she wasn't much of a help, you see the hospital was under a "census crisis" - pretty much full capacity, well I thought waiting 3 days for my terminally ill husband was enough of a wait.... ..but I just called the hospital, he got his private room, now I hope that he will be able to stay there...i can't believe this is happening, this is the final stages of his life...I'm just not ready, I don't know how much more I can take, my heart is broken, my soul aches, it's too painful, why?, did I make the right decision in doing a DNR?, just providing "care and comfort" measures, means, IV, with meds for seizures, steroids, and morphine if he needs it. but no monitors, no feeding tube...what am I doing? As much as I want him back, I don't want him to suffer..... Grace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Oh Grace. You have made the best decision you can with what you have to work with. I wish your area had hospice settings like here, they are more comfortable I hear than a regular hospital room. Prayers for all of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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