Debi Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 I wasn't sure where to put this post ...hope no one minds I put it here.. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I became the first one in my family to actually have any kind of warning that I may not live forever. Everyone else..my cousin, my grandmother, my dad... died suddenly of different reasons. They were here one minute, and gone the next. There has never been a goodbye said. Well it appears my 52 year old brother in law has followed the family tradition. My sister in Florida called me this morning while I was getting ready for work and told me that Jim died late last night, alone, of a massive heart attack, while she was at work. My 18 year old niece had come home and found him. When my sister came to see me last year, all she talked about was working another 5 years and then her and Jim were going to retire and live out the rest of their lives in a house they owned by the shore. Lisa has been the breadwinner, Jim has been on disability from a back injury and raised the kids mostly himself while Lisa worked all kinds of hours to work her way up so they could live easily AND retire by the time she was 45. My sister is bereft, she has been with Jim since she was 18, needless to say she can't even talk, it took her all night long to remember my phone number..she kept calling my cell which was off. So I have once again wiped out my newly opened savings account and gotten plane tickets for me and my son. I am flying to Florida on Monday, as she has friends with her this weekend, and really wants me there for the services and to help her with business stuff. It is just her and I, my mother told her that she won't be able to make it to Florida, because her knees are bothering her. Jim and I didn't always see eye to eye.. at one point I was going to boycott her wedding. Over the years we became accustomed to each other and I have had nothing but respect for the father he became. I am sad and tearful that he is gone, and once again shocked over the suddeness of it all, but I am more concerned for my sister, my niece and for my 13 year old nephew. I'm not really sure what my point is..but I think it is the old you could get hit by a truck tomorrow thing. No matter what plans are laid... you just never know...and now my little sister is suddenly a widow at 40... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 I have no words. I am just so very sorry. Have a safe trip. Your sister is very lucky to have your support right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Oh Debbie, I am so sorry. What a terrible thing for your sister to go through. It's great you can go and be with her and help with things. How lucky she is to have a sister like you. Stories like this make me wish for a sister. Take care Debi and check in when you can. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Debi, this must be very difficult for you. Here you are with so many problems and now you must be the help for others. That is indeed sad about their hopes and plans. My niece died at 19 years from a genetic heart disorder. I cried until my face was unrecognizable. All deaths are so very difficult to deal with but the shock here adds another difficulty. I will pray for you and your family. I will pray that God holds you in His hands and comforts you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Sorry for your family. Have a good trip, your sister is lucky to have you. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Oh, gee, Debi! THAT sucks! I'm so sorry. Sorry he died and sorry that you have to fly (!) again, knowing how much you LOVE to do so... Damn beer trucks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betplace Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 (((Debi))) I am so sorry sweetie! Hugs and Prayers going out to you and your sister Blessings Betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Debi, I'm sorry. Not sure what else to say.Give your sister and neice and nephew lots of hugs and love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Cheryl- Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Deb, Your poor sis. I tell you, I was so touhed by her situation. I am so fearful that I will come home and find Jack like that! He started back doing some part-time radio work and is suppose to take it easy, but works around the house doing things that scare me to death. Right now he is putting up pipe fencing, painting the inside of the house, and putting in wood floors! I cannot stop him. Its like he is challenging fate!!! All the men in his family have died early of heart attacks! I am glad to finally get these things done, but not at the risk of losing my husband in the process! Deb, have a safe trip. I hope you get a chance to visit the ocean and stick your feet in the sand. Where are you going in Fla.? Please take a day for yourself if you can. My condolences to our sister. Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Debi, I am so sorry for this loss in your family, and I feel so bad for your sister. I'm glad she's got you to hold her up over the next few days. You are a very special sister to go be with her, and even using all your savings to do so. God love you! Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloesmom Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Debi-- I am so sorry for the loss of your brother-in-law and the sadness your sister is going through. She's lucky to have you and I hope you have a safe trip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MurielK Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Debi, I'm so sorry for your loss and for all the extra stress that it adds. It must have been a terrible shock for everyone. Have a safe flight. Don't forget to get a pass from Ry. Muriel K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Debi, It's that other shoe we are all afraid of. Life seems to be going pretty well and bam, bad news. It looks like your sister is strong - she hopefully will work through this with time. She is lucky to have you and your love and caring. Have a safe trip. Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Life is just so fragile. I have no words except to say that I wish you a safe trip and I am praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Debi, im so sorry to hear about your sister. It must be so hard for her. I myself, have been with my husband since I was sixteen, and WOW that must be rough. It's like growing up with someone. Please tell your sister, were all very sorry for her loss, death is always rough, but to be with someone so long, and to lose him so young... its heartbreaking. I hope her heart can be mended soon. Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebayou Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Hi Debi, So sorry to hear of your brother-in-law's death. My prayers are going out to the whole family. Have a safe trip and come back to us asap, safe and sound. God Bless us All, Francine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 I am so sorry. Those sudden deaths are devastating. No chance to say good bye. My prayers are with you and your sis. Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Oh Debi. I am so sorry to hear about your sister's husband. I am glad you can be there for her especially since your mom isn't able. Pls make sure his kids are ok and get counseling if they need it. Sometimes kids get left behind while others are grieving. Love to you and yours Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Oh Debi, such pain. For all. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you. gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Please extend my condolences to your sister and her family. I'm sorry for their loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 DEBI, I am so sorry for your loss.Please give my condolences to your sister and her family.Also have a good and safe trip and don't meet up with any robbers or anything like befor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Debi, so very sorry to read your post. Sure wish i lived in Okla for I would love to keep the little one while you head for the funeral. But I don't so please take care of yourself and your little one too. Not a one of us knows the day we will leave this earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Dear Debi, I am so sorry you and your family have to go through this.. Your sister will be so comforted knowing you are there with her.. Its so crazy, Isnt it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 I have been running around like a chicken (there is always a chicken ) and have not had time to really be on the board... I want to thank all of you for your posts. I have been feeling sorry for myself because I am sick again and am also tired of doing everything alone. The 2 hour trip to the airport, the parking, the bus to the terminal, the flight, my stark TERROR of flying, all with a 5 year old and 2 suitcases, all of it has been looming over me. Wish I had a man that could drive me there, unload my suitcases and drop me off. Either a man, or if this town had a car service that went to the airport, that would be even better ! Anyway, your posts reminded me that I am not alone, I have all of you and your thoughts with me. I will be sure to let my sister know that you are there for her too, and am sure that it will bring her comfort. I hope that everyone has a good week, and that you all stay healthy and strong.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Debi, I am so sorry to hear about your sister's husband. Please take care of yourself and condolences to your sister and her family. You and your family are in my prayers. Blessings and hugs, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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