MsC1210 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I want to thank everyone for their kind words, thoughts and prayers during the past month +. It has been so wonderful to have a place to go to share my feelings as well as those of my Mom during Jerry's short but brutal fight with LC. I've been doing a lot of thinking, again, about my place here with LCSC. I had begun to consider taking some time away from here before Jerry got so sick as I had really been feeling out of place. Several comments had been made that made me feel as though I really did not belong here and I had just about decided that it was time for me to simply move on and pursue other ventures. Then Jerry got sick and I needed to be here. I still did not always feel as though I belonged, but I needed to know that somewhere, someone could relate to the emotions I was feeling, and still am, and help me to make sense of them. I have always tried to remain neutral in the conflicts and controversies that arise, they are normal with so many wonderful people from so many different walks of life all coming together. I did my best not to judge ANYONE, and did my best to offer support and hope and a shoulder to anyone who needed it. I did my best to continue to reach out to anyone even as I walked this horrible road myself. I think at this stage I am going to step away and take time to get my head back together as helping my Mom and Jerry through this has been so very, very hard for me and it did bring back all of the painful memories and nightmares I endured as Brad tried so hard to win his battle as well. I think that even though I was not a true caregiver or family member, according to some, that the experiences I have had with Brad and now again with Jerry have changed me forever and I am really not as strong as I had hoped I could be. I wish you all well, I wish you all peace and happiness and will continue to hold you in my prayers. I am sorry I feel the way I do, but I don't want to add to the controversies here and I don't feel that I truly belong anymore. I hope you can all understand. I did try to do my best and I am so sorry for not being able to do more. My love and my never ending thanks to all of you, especially Katie and Rick for making this site possible to those who are so desperately in need... Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I for one look forward to your posts...they are well written and well thought out.Chris whatever your choice I hope you still come back from time to time...sorry you are taking a break..but understand the need for it.But please dont stay gone......my best wishes in whatever you decide to do. dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patti B Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 ((((Chris)))) I hate this but you know I understand. You can leave this forum but you will NEVER be able to stop being my friend!!! As a matter of fact, I am calling you right now!!! Luv ya - Patti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Chris. I totally understand if you need to go away for a bit after all you have been through. From the short time I have been here I have found you to be an absolute blessing. So please, take a needed break. But come back soon. I for one, and am sure many, will miss you terribly if you don't. Please take good care. Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbb Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Christine, You have been through an awful lot, I don't know what the controversies were/are but I always thought you were very kind. I wish you much peace as you travel this road, it is very very hard. Barbb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 (((Christine)))), From one who has been the recipient of consistent kindness from you, even back to your "Cynical Angel" days, I am very sorry to read this post. You were one of the few who reached out to me long after my usefulness on this board ceased to matter. I don't know the particulars of what caused these feelings, but I do know you need love and support in the time ahead. I want to be there for you as you were for me. I'd pm you, but I'd much rather email you. My email is listed in my profile. Chris, my little cynical angel -- please email me as I would very much like to stay in contact with you. You were a little ray of sunshine in my darkness during my husband's journey and since his death. God bless you for being such a caring person. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Christine I have always enjoyed your nsightfull wisdoma dn thoughts and Inspirations here. I wish you all the best in your endeavours as this morning was saddened to see another moving on. MAy you ahve nothing but peace and Joy and Love in all that you do and be surrounded by. I will miss You!!!!! ANd remeber If Ya ever really do need us for anything I will Leave the light on For Ya!! ( Give me names and I will do your dirty work for Ya also!!) MAy the sun be alwyas at your face and the wind at your Back!! Randy In North CArolina ((((((((((Christine))))))))))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce u Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Hi Christine I just found this site in November. I think I made every mistake possible, no profile, post in the wrong forum, etc. You took me under your wing and moved my post where they were supposed to be, Pm'ed me with instructions on how to do the profile, etc. It was that original support that kept me coming back. I agree with some earlier comments that maybe you need a break because you have been through alot. I don't agree with you staying away because you do not belong here. Us cancer survivor's really appreciate the support of the caregivers on this site. Take a break Chris if you need it but you should not feel that you don't belong here. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry's Wife Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Christine, I haven't been a member for very long at all, but in that short time, I have come to look forward to your posts. You are no different from me. Yes, my husband has lung cancer, and I am his primary caregiver. But you are no different from me. You "get it". I would never tell you that you can't do what you need to do, but know this -- there are many people here who love and embrace you. And I am one of them. God bless you, Christine. Lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 You definately do belong here We all care for you deeply! But I do understand if you n eed time away. Please please come back and let us know how you are. ANd I will keep up with you on Facebook Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Christine: I did not have the slightest idea that you were receiving flak about posting here. I must have missed it somehow. I have always read your posts. I do understand how one just has to get away. I hope you find peace in the days ahead. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatlemike Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Chriistine,I hope you have a very happy life whatever you may choose to do. Thank you so much for words of comfort and concern. Sometimes we just need to know that people care.I too at times feel I wish I had more to offer.I am not good with words and I know I have been very fortunate compared to many.I know the many times I was waiting to get scan results that it meant very much to me knowing that people here were praying and concerned for me.Again, I want to say thank you! Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 (((Chris))), As one who has always appreciated you and would miss you terribly if you left, I am very sad to read this . I can't imagine why anyone would think that you didn't belong. This is a place for everyone who has had their lives touched by lung cancer whether it be friend, family, or yourself who is the patient. You have been deeply affected by the loss of a personal friend, a family member and now many friends on this board. Yes, you have many friends here and always will. Hope you will reconsider . Will be writing to you later. We have a bad storm here and I have to get off line. Love and Hugs, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueeye Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Wow, I'm sorry to hear this. I too really appreciate you reaching out and helping me across the wires. Your support and our doxie connection has meant alot to me. Take care, Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Christine, As the official hall monitor I will approve a leave of absence but then you have to check in and let us know how you and your mom are doing. Believe me when I tell you that as the two of you begin to work through this loss it will be important to talk with others that know what you are going through. So I expect to see you back soon. Now, as to the other, like any family we have our wackos, crazy uncles, and big mouths-- don't let it get to you. There are people here that need you as much as you need them. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muriel Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Chris, I'm really sorry to see you leave. You've offered so much to so many of us and we all still need you. I hope you will follow Rochelle's directives - check in often and come back to us soon. Muriel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 First of all I want to wish you well. I usnderstand that sometimes you need a break. I think we all reach that point. Now I just have to say that there is no one who has been touched by this disease that does not belong here. We all come here for support and for information or sometimes even a way to laugh in the face of all the pain and heartache we have been through or are going through. I'm sure once in awhile we all question our value here. I know I sure have more than once. What it all boils down to is that once you come here you share something so intense that you become a part of this very large and always growing family. The monster may take some away but many more than we would want to see come here looking for something just as we did. We may get down at times but we are never out,and we never will be. As long as there is someone fighting, in any capasity, who needs a "family" to help them through this family will continue to live and thrive. Take a break Christine but don't leave the family. Everyone here is such an important part in this never ending fight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellit74 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Chris, I am sorry to see you go. Take care and please check in with us once and awhile... See you on Facebook! Shelli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 As far as I'm concerned, your presense is a valuable asset to this board and to those of us fighting the diease or caring for someone who is fighting it. I can understand wanting to take a break though. So I hope you will do what you feel you need to do, but come back to us. I, for one, will miss you and would like for you to stay! Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leela Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Chris, I understand your need for a break, but hope you will come back when you feel you are ready. I truly believe that every member has a place here. Caregivers in my opinion are anyone who gives care whether it be emotional, physical, or spiritual. Please do not downplay the part you took in supporting and caring for your loved ones - related or not. You loved them and were there for them. Same holds true for this board. Be gentle with yourself. Peace, Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 SAY WHAT??????? I don't like that your thinking of leaving us. I DO understand taking a break, but up and leaving is NOT a good idea! Take some time for yourself and then re-think this idea of leaving, and know you are loved and cared for deeply by MANY OF US here at LCSC. (((((((((((((((((((CHRISTINE)))))))))))))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lc46 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I'm sorry to hear how you feel and that you are planning on leaving the boards. I do understand how you need a break from it from time to time-you know we are all here whenever or wherever you go. You always had kind words for me and I appreciate it Dar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 First off, I always thought it was wonderful you were here because of a friend's experience, we should all have such wonderful friends who care so deeply for us. Second, if you need to move on, I'm sure we'd all support you, but don't go without knowing that we think you are great. And if you find you need us again, we'll be here. But you've been through a lot, so you deserve time for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bette64 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Hi Christine, I've been a member here for a while but not very active in posting. However I've enjoyed reading your very positive posts. I think you belong here, need us, and please don't leave. I will continue to pray for Jerry, your mom, and you. Sending lots of ((((((((HUGS))))))) to you. Bette - Texas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovesLife Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Chris - well my friend, I am sorry to hear this. As I have told you before, I think you are absolutely wonderful and I am sad that you are leaving. I think you can see by the many loved responses that you are very well respected and loved on this board. However, I totally understand what you are saying and you should do what is best for your heart and soul. Please take care of yourself and give your mom a hug from me (and take one for yourself too!) I am so sorry the way things turned out for Jerry and that you all had such little time to prepare for what was to come. I wish you peace and happiness in the future always. I will miss you. Hugs, Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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