Carleen Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 My Precious Keith Alan Kubesch, joy of my life, reason for being and light of my existence has passed away Thursday June 29th 9:45 AM at the age of 34. We had just made it home from the hospital the afternoon before, and hospice was schedule to come in at 11AM Thursday morning. They didn't make it on time. Around him were his mother, father, grandmother, uncle, best friend, my sister, and me. He was breathing heavily and sort of articulating as he breathed, and we said a prayer over him and he quieted down during the prayer. I thought it was a sign that God was comforting him that he was calmer as we prayed. After the prayer ended I opened my eyes to see him take a deep breath then he opened his eyes wide and never breathed again. It wasn't God bring him the comfort the way I thought, it was God taking him away from me. I can't post much more about it now because the pain is too great. I am swathed in darkness, every breath I draw is agony and there is no escape. Everywhere I turn I see bits of him and am reminded I will never see him again. I hate being home, but I don't know if I can go elsewhere. I just don't know what t do. Even coming on the computer I log in under a Keith Kubesch account. I am willing my heart to stop beating because every heart beat is accompanied by a knife wound in my chest, but it continues. I want my Keith back, I want to go to him, I don't care... I just want to be with him again to put my arms around him and feel his warm kisses again. I will never be loved so greatly again. I have truly lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Dear Carleen No words will come, just lots of love. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlegirl Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Oh Carleen, I know there is never a good time but I know this was WAY too soon! No words to express my sympathy but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and you WILL get through this. Hugs! Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, Words will never express the depth of dispair I am feeling for you right now. The tears I am shedding are for the loss you have just endured. I am so deeply sorry for the loss of Keith. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joanie55 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Dear Carleen, I am so truely, truely, sorry. Joan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I'm truly sorry to read this about Keith. I'll pray for you and your family for strength and peace. Joanie ((())) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 May God comfort you in the days ahead. Words just don't seem to be easy right now. Bonnie and Howard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flwrjunke Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, I'm so sorry. This was too fast, too soon. Please know your still in my prayers. Hugs, Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen...I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that words are so little comfort right now but please know that we are thinking of you and keeping you in our hearts and our prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, My sympathy in the loss of your Keith. I hope the support of family and your friends here help to carry you through your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen I also am so sorry for your loss of Keith. I know now he is well. I pray for your peace and comfort during this most difficult time. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloesmom Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, My deepest sympathies. I hope someday, somehow you can find some peace with this. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie22 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen I am sooooo sorry for your loss. My heart is extremely heavy for you!!! It is so hard in our darkest hours to find the faith that we have, but we really need to search and find it to pull ourselves through this.Please do not hesitate to ask for assistance from friends and family. A lot of times, they want to help, but just know how. My prayers are for you and your family, that you will find peace and comfort in knowing that Keith did win the battle with this horrible disease. Prayers and Hugs Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, I am so sorry. I am at a loss for words, this is so unfair. You are such a sweet soul. I will be saying prayers for peace and asking others to do the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy B Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, I am so sorry. I am praying for comfort and strength for you. Take care of yourself. Nancy B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Oh, Carleen, I was so afraid of this when you weren't posting the past couple of days. My hands automatically grasped my throat when I saw just the subject line in Grieving. I'm just so incredibly sorry. Any and all words escape me. I don't think there are any. I just wish I could hold you and let you cry and cry and cry on my shoulder. May God bless you and keep you, Carleen. I know He will. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellen B. Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, I'm so sorry! Praying for you and your family, Ellen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, I am so, so sorry to read your post. I ask God to watch over you, to give you comfort, strength, and to ease your pain. Keith has no more pain, and God has wrapped his arm around him, taking him to be with him, where he knows peace, your love always, and renewed strength in everylasting life. God bless you Carleen. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anais Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen: I'm so sorry for your loss. ((((((((( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, I am very sorry for your loss. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I am a lurker here since having lost my own husband 5 years ago and I've followed you every since you've signed on..my heart goes out to you in the biggest way, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending warm and solid hugs to you and your family during this most difficult time. Kim B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, There are just no words.. My love and prayers are all I have to offer. Please know you are in my thoughts... Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 God's blessings to you and yours, Carleen. - Teresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyrig35 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Carleen, Please know that even though you can not feel it right now - you are surrounded with love. -amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeandstrength Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I'm so very sorry. I wish I had more to offer, but I am at a loss for words. love, Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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